Now why don’t he write…?

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Okay….here’s the situation…as you know I have been going through a LOT over the last bit of time, and I have been trying HARD to overcome it all…no…really…I HAVE.

So…how to paraphrase this so that I take up less of your time and make the situation clearer….

Well..they say that the best way to start is at the beginning…

So, I lost my home in Scotland and had to move to America again…this you all know…then my baby Hazelnut Butterpig passed….then I lost my beloved Rincewind, and a LOT of people I had been caring for at the other job, including a couple of people I had really gotten to know and love….and it really hit me hard. I sunk into depression, and even went to “The Dark Place” in my mind, as it were, and was starting to give up….then, when I was just coming through to where I was able to process things slowly, my beloved friend and Bishop passed away.

Well, needless to say, it really threw the curve ball at me.

The problem is that I had LEGAL things to see to. Was my Ordination ended? Did God say “Okay…you are retired” …!?!?!? So…I am still working through the Legal aspect of this problem… am I still Friar Jeff?…or am I just JEFF….??? (BTW: still sorting this out)

Without a Church to be affiliated with (because he was the head of the church, as it were), does my Ordination end?

So, as you see, while trying to sort out the MENTAL side of my life, I am struck down with the LEGAL side as well…so…you see…I felt I did not have the RIGHT to be your cleric till this is resolved.

There are legal precedence to consider, lawsuits that could ensue…etc….and I am quite incapable of having LEGAL issues to add to the pile.

I am not avoiding social media…just trying to determine what, when, where, how…and more importantly, WHO I am in the grand scheme of things.

Hence why I have been off lately.

There may be some who say “He abandoned us”…or that I do not care anymore…FAR FROM IT.

I care enough to know that I cannot help THEM without first helping myself.

After all, how can I counsel those in need if I myself am in more dire and darker situations? (That, and the fact that it may send me over the edge as well)

NEVER think for a minute I do not care…for you, my friends, mean more to me that the entire world.

I just want to be sure I can BE, not just ‘be’, there for you all.

I really AM trying, but as anyone who suffers from severe depression, PTSD, and physical tribulations can tell you, it is NOT as easy as it seems when they all gang up on you and decide to stomp you into the ground.

So…we are all in this boat together, and I am looking at the charts to see where we are, even though I am a bit lost as well.

So I will keep you all updated as I can and make sure you all understand it takes time…and only God knows the length of that.

Peace be with you all…

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